Wednesday, March 1, 2017

The day I recommitted my heart to Jesus

 (Because what's a blog post without photos. Sams half birthday in November up top and his Valentine shoot on bottom. He turned NINE months on Monday, y'all. Photos by Amanda Morgan Photography)

This morning, for the first time in only God knows how long, I opened my church app and read the devotional. As I began my closing prayers, per usual, I felt Jesus' presence tugging on my heart so strongly that I felt compelled to re submit myself and give my life to Him. For months, even with all of the goodness I'm surrounded by, my heart has been in all the wrong places and doubt has been so prevalent in my mind. These are two things only Jesus and my husband have been fully aware of, but it has been so apparent in my behavior and choices to shut out some of the people I love the most.

During my stent with postpartum depression, I let the devil take over completely. I fully comprehend that what I was going through was hormonal, but it was also completely real and debilitating and at a time when I should have leaned on Jesus, my family, and community, I turned to doubt and completely lost all of my faith. What I didn't realize at the time, is even in the moments where I was refusing to get down on my knees to pray, Jesus was still holding my hand and whispering words to my heart that would ultimately save me, the way that He always has. 

Friends, I've never been one to shy away from my faith, so the lack thereof was something I never thought I would admit to. I'm sharing because I want to be completely transparent. I want you to know that if you are going through a similar season in your life, you are not alone. You have a good Father who gives good gifts and who loves you even in your darkest days of doubt. If you listen closely, He is still with you, and He will never give up on you.

Today, March 1st, I recommitted my entire life to Jesus Christ. He is and has always been my Lord and Savior. It may not be the first time, but it is the most meaninful step I've taken in my long walk with Him and I encourage you, friends, to look for what your next step is. Do you need healing? I know I do and I also know He is there waiting for you, the same way He was for me, if you will only open your heart to him. 

P.S. I want my readers to know that I will never try to push my faith or beliefs on you. I'm simply sharing what I believe and what I love. I got an email not too long ago informing me that my domain was about to expire and it was a sweet little reminder that I'm not ready to say goodbye to girl(ish) just yet. I have so much love for you all and I'm so grateful for you.

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